One of the children's quality of life depends on mental health which involves an emotional element. The most prominent complaint or symptom of mental health problems is emotional disturbance.
Problems related to emotional is a field that is quite complex, both symptoms and causes. These emotional problems are difficult to know when compared to other medical problems. Especially if emotional problems occur in children who are difficult or unable to express their desires.
Complaints that parents express when they see a doctor are usually still vague or not concrete at the beginning of each visit, for example, children are difficult to learn, children cannot be managed, children are naughty, children are difficult to tell, and so on.
One of the emotional disturbances that often arises is emotional outbursts that are explosive and out of control, or what we often call temper tantrums (tantrums).
Tantrums usually occur in active children with abundant energy. Tantrums are also more common in "difficult" children with characteristics of having irregular sleeping and bowel habits, difficulty eating, fear when meeting new people, slow to adapt to change, irritability, difficult to distract.
Tantrums are often experienced by children aged 0-5 years. Before further discussing the problem of tantrums, it is better if we first know the stages of emotional development of children aged 0 to 5 years.
Every individual certainly has emotions, so do children. Actually children are more emotional than adults, because children are not yet able to control their own emotions.
Language is an important communication tool. Language problems also contribute to factors that cause children to have tantrums.
Temper tantrums or acting-out-behaviors are:
- Disruptive/unwanted behavior that occurs in response to an unmet want or need.
- Emotional outbursts when the child's wishes are not fulfilled or delayed, loss of emotional control.
- Inability to control emotions related to decreased tolerance for frustration.
Tantrum behavior in children aims to "force" other people to fulfill what the child asks or needs. The first tantrum aims to show dissatisfaction or frustration. Tantrum behavior that is repeated continuously will become learning for the child (learned behaviors) .
The world of children that we know is the world of play. Children usually want to learn to be "more" and their "I" is very high. Children always want to be more in control of themselves and their emotions. When a child is unable to do it, the child will be frustrated and it will be expressed in various ways.
Tantrums are an inappropriate response ( inappropriate punishment ). In the child's mind is that doing "good" actions will not get the child's attention from other people, while "naughty" behavior will get the attention of parents or other people. The child begins to learn that if he gets a reward for a "bad" deed, it means that he is cared for and given love, whereas if a child does a "good" deed, the parents will not pay attention.
Generally, tantrums will occur in the second year of a child's life, which is when the child's language development is just starting to develop. In certain cases, tantrums in children may be caused by behavioral disorders or other mental disorders, one of which is autism. Tantrums are also often found in children who are overindulgent by parents, or parents have excessive levels of anxiety.
( oversolicitous ) in children, or parents too want to protect their children ( overprotective ).
Tantrums are initially a response to dislike of physical treatment, but tantrums are also a child's attempt to get gifts from their parents. The goal of tantrums is to get the attention of their parents. Tantrums will usually get worse in children for several reasons:
- Hungry
- So exhausted
- Helpless
- Sudden change
- Seeking attention
- Did not get the desired object
- Her belongings were taken by force
- Parents do not understand what the child says or wants
- There is no way or words to say
- Children who feel anxious, depressed or disturbed
- Child's inability to solve problems
Here are some examples of behavior that children do in tantrum episodes according to their age level:
1. Age under 3 years
Crying, biting, hitting, kicking, screaming, arching your back, dropping to the floor, flailing your hands, holding your breath, banging your head, or throwing things.
2. Age 3 to 4 years
Such as behavior under the age of 3 plus stomping, yelling, hitting, slamming doors, criticizing, or whining.
3. Age 5 and up
Such as the behavior in the two previous categories plus the behavior of swearing, swearing, hitting brothers, sisters or friends, criticizing oneself , breaking things on purpose, or threatening parents or other people.
Tantrums in children can also be seen. Children who prefer to be silent on purpose when spoken to by their parents (sulking) are called selective mutism .
At a certain age, children have tantrums to show what they want because they don't know other ways to express it. The key, parents must be patient and loving in helping children to be able to express their desires through words or show anger in appropriate ways.
Here are ways you can follow to control child tantrums:
- Parents stay calm
- Don't change "no" to "yes"
- Moving children
- Relocating parents
- Calm down child
- Talk after a tantrum episode
- Don't explain anything when the child is still having a tantrum
- Do not threaten with punishment
Article written by dr. ST Andreas, M.Ked(Ped), Sp.A (Pediatrician at EMC Pekayon Hospital).